Lucy Letby trial: Accused killer nurse explains ‘I am evil’ note

Lucy Letby is alleged to have murdered five boys and two girls at the Countess of Chester Hospital between June 2015 and June 2016.

She is accused of poisoning infants with insulin and injecting them with air, causing them to stop breathing.

Letby is also accused of attempting to murder another five boys and five girls.

She denies the charges.

Letby gave evidence on Tuesday for the first time during her seven-month trial at Manchester crown court.

She was asked by her barrister Ben Myers to explain a handwritten note found by police during a search of her home.

Asked why one note read “I am evil, I did this,” she said: “I felt at the time that if I’d done something wrong I must be such an evil, awful person.

“I’d somehow been incompetent and had done something wrong which had affected those babies.

“I felt I must be responsible in some way. I think looking back on it now, I was really struggling, and this was a way of me expressing what I wasn’t able to say to anyone else.”

When asked if she ever wanted to hurt the babies in her care, Letby replied: “No, that’s completely against being what a nurse is.”

Asked about a different part of the note in which she had written, “I killed them on purpose because I’m not good enough” Letby denied she had done anything intentionally.

She said she wrote the note because she was “struggling”.

“This was a way of me expressing how I felt at the time that I wasn’t able to say to anyone else.”

Letby said she developed post traumatic stress disorder after she was arrested at her home at 6am in 2018 and taken to the police station in her pyjamas.

She was arrested another three times and told the court she found each incident “traumatising”.

Letby told the court she had always strived to “be the best nurse I could” and said she had been a mentor to student nurses.

The trial continues.